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- visit my Granny in Northumberland and allow her to empty the ends of her Winter freezer into your handbag: a brace of locally shot partridge, a bag of broad beans and 2 bags of runner beans frozen the day they were picked from her prolific vegetable patch (I managed to get a couple of Cadbury cream eggs as well, but they're not strictly needed for this recipe)
- transfer ingredients to London via the Sunday 17.33 from Alnmouth and place in fridge in Balham to finish defrosting
- next night, pick up a poussin (£2.54 from Waitrose, cheaper than chicken!) to ensure there's enough meat for 3 hungry hunters, and a few potatoes, mindful of the carrots already at home, oh and some unsmoked streaky bacon
- plonk the partridge and poussin into a roasting dish. Lay rashers of bacon over the partridge, brush the poussain with something oily (not hair lacquer) and season
- during the next hour, boil and mash the spuds, boil and drain the beans and carrots, remove birds from oven and rest under foil to keep warm (if you're not blessed with a hostess trolley) and make gravy with the juices, stirring in sprinkles of flour, stock and red or white wine, whichever's open (we had a lovely Rioja from Oddbins) all whilst trying to keep up with Tracy Barlow's trial outcome in Corrie
- serve, and marvel over the delights of partridge on a Monday night in Balham
- put carcasses in big pot, leave for tomorrow with instructions for Maccie B to procure an onion, a carrot, 10 pepper corns and bunch of parsley, boil under enough water to cover the bones for one hour, sieve, and place cooled liquid in fridge ready to make a tasty soup with later
- make mental note to send thank you card to Granny for the delicious partridge and beans
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