I happened to mention to Zelda, a colleague who moonlights as a nutritional therapist, that I might give up chocolate for lent, before confessing that this wouldn't be too difficult as I'm not really a chocoholic. Zelda, with one eye on my blossoming middle tyre and another metaphorical eye on the chocolate cookies that I occasionally fetch for the team, said "if you really want a challenge and do your body some good you should give up bread and pasta, or wheat altogether, although that would include beer".
"Pah!" I retorted, "that ain't happening!" But later that night, I got to thinking... (don't worry, it's nothing Carrie Bradshaw would think) - I also enjoy wine. A Lot. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to go 40 days sans beer...
Actually, it turns out it is a bad idea because on March 30th I know that I will be in the John Bull in Alnwick; more, a lot more, on this hallowed destination to come, for now all I need say is great place, possibly the best on earth, for beer, but if you ask for a glass of house red, expect a stony silence. Eventually Gus will dust down an old carton of Vin de Pays that I think my mother bought 10 years ago when she was dieting, and push a glass in your direction, but even if it tasted ok (which it wouldn't) you just couldn't enjoy it.
So by now I'm thinking "ok, wheat free 'til the end of March, bread and pasta free right 'til the bitter end" and emailed my parents with very early warning, "will not be requiring my usual trough of lasagne that Friday night".
Email back from Dad:
"Nay problem lass. Only Belgium style 'white' beer is made with wheat. English ale is made with barley".
Proving it is perfectly possible to be self-disciplined, an occasional Christian, lose body wobble, and drink beer all at the same time. Absolute bloody genius.
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